Easy DIY Garden Signs for the Non-Artistic [tutorial]

DIY Garden Signs

DIY Garden Signs

Here’s a quick and dirty tutorial for easy DIY garden signs even when you have zero artistic skills. I know because I did it.

What you need

  • Reclaimed wood (pallet, bed frame, etc.) upcycled into a sign-like form
  • Sandpaper
  • Sponge/paint brushes (various sizes)
  • Acrylic craft paint
  • Containers for water/paint (Solo cups will do)
  • Stencils or craft letters
  • Mod Podge or glue that dries clear
  • Sealer/finish spray/wax

Please Grow

What you do

  • Using staples, nails, etc. create sign-like shapes from old pallets or bed frames
  • Once you’re happy with your sign shapes, sand, sand, sand. Serious here—if there’s any kind of finish on the wood the paint won’t absorb. If you’re going for the distressed/weathered look (pre-actual weathering) sand extra! In fact, sand extra anyway. You’re welcome
  • Paint your pallet sign however you want. If you’re going for the washed-out look mix paint with a bit of water in a separate container and wash over wood with a sponge brush. This is an easy process and dries fast. Allow paint to dry before adding layers
  • Once your undercoat is dry, stencil letters/images with a pencil and paint in as desired. If you have zero artistic skill like me then glue craft letters to your sign using a clear-drying glue. Allow to dry again
  • Add any further embellishments and allow to dry
  • Seal using finish spray or clear wax and allow to dry

It’s a straightforward craft but adds so much character to your garden. In my case, future garden. I don’t have a lot of experience with vegetables so I thought I should go the route of encouraging my seeds along plus reminders (#pleasegrow #intaflowers #lettuceeat #wtf (water the flowers)). That said I’m also planning a sign saying “I didn’t plant this” because I’m quite certain I will grow many mystery plants. It’s just how things go for me.

DIY Garden Signs tutorial

I still have some finishing touches to put on my signs but this is the general idea if you’re looking for a fun project on a cold winter’s night. Watch my Instagram for the finished products in all their glory. Or however they turn out.

Plumber’s Advice: Sink Volcano

I’ve been complaining about my sink for the better part of since I moved into my condo, all in an effort to convince my dad to put in a new sink for me. A cool sink. You know, a trendy expensive one.

And basically since my dad is a plumber, I’ve been trying to figure out how to get said sink from him. But he really only does things like that when we “need” them.

So…since my sink is fully functioning…

Solution: It’s irreversibly clogged!

Anyway, my dad had an answer for that too. Sink volcano.

Without giving me actual measurements he told me the thing to do was put some baking soda down the drain…followed by vinegar.

I was surprised when it only frothed a bit (there were some noises, but I can’t describe them and they weren’t scary or anything). I guess I was expecting a geyser or something.

But then it would have been a sink geyser and, well, that’s not what I was making in the sink.

Oh, and I should add I’m not actually as manipulative as I made myself sound for the story. At least, I hope I’m not. Although I wish for a cool trendy sink I don’t have the guts to go through with my evil plan.

And the volcano totally worked.

My Horrible Lamps

If you recall I have a “lamp problem.”

In the form of the world’s ugliest lamps.

They’re terrible, but I just can’t get rid of them. There’s something about their uniqueness or…I don’t know, their hugeness or something. And there’s always the ridiculous factor.

My horrible lamps

Oh, and also because I fear no one would love them like I love them. They’ll fall into neglect or…worse.

It’s quite a burden I carry.

So for the past couple years I’ve brainstormed what to do about them to make them more palatable. Here is what I have considered.

  1. Getting new lamps (For a wedding gift I received money towards new lamps, these lamps specifically, so I must say I have considered this option)
  2. Paining the lamps
  3. Purchasing new lamp shades
  4. Re-covering the lamps. With tile

This last one is my favourite idea. And over the course of some time my husband has collected tile remnants for me as well as spray paint, grout, and all the tools I could possibly need.

So I suppose he’s on board.

But for some reason I haven’t got started. And I can’t figure out why I’m so nervous to begin. I mean…could I possibly make the lamps worse?

I really don’t think I could. And if it’s horrible—like beyond awful—I suppose I could bear to part with them.

I mean, I do still have Option #1.

Oh Me. (AKA Craft FAIL)

It was only a few days ago I was feeling all proud of myself and, you know, industrious and creative. I even blogged about it.

Well, that’s all gone now. A distant, silly memory.

My purpose in craftiness was to create a funky Valentine’s Day craft for the Used Everywhere blog, which I accomplished sort of. The craft was kind of a fail but I did learn something.

And they posted it.

Unfortunately, the result of my fail craft was I plugged up my sink. Except it didn’t quite connect that said sink was plugged. And then I ran the dishwasher. And I knew something was wrong. And I considered turning off the dishwasher.

But then I deemed myself paranoid and stepped out for a couple hours.

Well, we all know where this is going.

Craft fail

Except this little “mistake” also impacted the person living below me. And now I have to pay.

Thankfully I have insurance, and even though I didn’t know for sure if it would cover utter stupidity, apparently it does. My mistake falls into the “water escape” category, which is good to know just in case there’s a next time.

But it won’t because I will give into my paranoia from now on.

When I called my insurance guy to, you know, take responsibility for what happened and learn what I had to do and what will happen next (this is my first time ever using my insurance), he couldn’t stop laughing. In a nice way. I think he was trying to calm me down and also let me know this is a regular situation and this is what insurance is for.

Anyway, so we chatted for a while and once I’m finished reeling from shame and embarrassment I’ve decided I would like to hear the recording of that conversation. Because it must have been really funny, you know, for everyone else but me. I remember uncontrollably sobbing and telling the insurance guy how my strata manager told me I was going to have to pay “big bucks” and I didn’t know what that meant and why do I ever try to do crafts anyway because I’m so bad at them…and unfortunately so much more.

But in the meantime, I’ve also decided I would like to turn this extreme negative into a positive. First of all, I have insurance. And so I will only be responsible for my deductible. It could have been so much worse.

Secondly, I have savings, and well, this is what savings is for.

Except, what if I get even more creative (in a NON crafty way) and try to raise the $500 by doing random tasks or extra work or by doing certain things I’m afraid of like contacting local businesses to sell my toques or entering writing contests?

Thinking in this way doesn’t make me feel better or anything, but it is a distraction. And perhaps something really amazing can come out of this situation.

Any suggestions?

I Avoided Vampires this Weekend

I know I said I would probably stay in and watch Dracula or at least skim the book. Well it wasn’t on Netflix, wouldn’t you know.

life characters

Instead I watched to the end of season two of Life. Oh man I wish there was a season three!

WHY!?!

I mean, it ended but did it really? Anyway, so fail.

Here’s what else I did whilst avoiding vampires.

borax crystals

Had an afternoon of “fun with borax” making crystal ornaments with my niece and nephew. (More on that later)

arbynwear toque

Attempted self-portraits to document a new toque pattern I’m writing.

knit girraffe

Also in knitting, I made a stuffed toy, a giraffe. It’s actually finished but I haven’t taken any more photos or stuffed it. It’s awesome.

80s sister

Watched my 80s revival sister slave over her stale gingerbread house. The design wasn’t stale, the candy was. Buyer beware.

All in all I stayed busy, but unproductive in the vampire area. I’m sure you understand.

Oh, I also wrapped all my Christmas gifts and thought about writing more thank you cards from my wedding…but then we started up a game of Roste dominoes and, well, you really have to give it your full attention. Those Roste’s are ruthless!