Vicious insect slaying—please don’t take this seriously!
Breaking news. Vicious insect slaying at summer camp
An estimated 30 spiders and several hundred other insects were killed this afternoon in the men’s lakeside washroom.
The culprit of this vicious crime is one of 100 teenagers renting the camp. The weapon is rumored to be a can of Raid, seen at the scene shortly before the grizzly discovery.
Custodial staff person Robyn Roste said the event was unlike anything she’s ever seen at camp.
“And I’ve seen a lot of weird crap,” she said.
This senseless killing was said to be in retaliation of a serious spidral fear, which (when evoked) can prove fatal to any living insect within a five mile radius.
All insect lovers and those allergic to canned substances are asked to stay away from the camp for the next three days.