Even though I’ve been on a vampire kick I was sure I wouldn’t go see Breaking Dawn, Part 1 (the new The Twilight Saga in the…saga). But then I changed my mind.
I did know I would hate it. So this isn’t a super fair movie review except that I also thought it could be a good time because vampires can be fun too. Not just dumb. Not just scary. So I decided to go see Breaking Dawn.
My doting and quite accommodating husband took me to a matinee showing at the local theatre and I bought popcorn that cost more than my movie ticket. As is my habit.
Anyway, it was total crap. It was horrible. What a waste of time. That’s the short version.
The longer version is even though there were some “vampire” characters in the movie, it wasn’t at all about vampires. That ship has sailed methinks. It was more about nothing. There was a wedding, a quick trip to some island, and then there was a mutant baby. Fini.
Breaking Dawn was the worst!
Probably my favourite part of the film was when my husband turned to me and said with a grin (you could say things in this movie because we were two of six people in the entire place), “Wow. This movie is terrible!” Which made me giggle.
And then there was lots of blood for a really long time (Hello! Mutant baby!) and I didn’t like that. Which made my husband giggle.
“OK, this movie just got awesome for me. Just for your reactions to everything.”
Apparently I had been making subconscious faces and comments throughout the film and had some particularly amusing reactions to the last part of the movie.
Whoops. I usually save that for Mystery Science Theater 3000 and the other D Films we, for whatever reason, tend towards.
Oh wait, no I don’t. Nevermind.
In my opinion, they didn’t even try in this movie. They know people are going to see it and so they will just keep cranking the poorly written, acted, and produced films out until we stop being suckers.
So, forever then.
Other (actual) movie reviews
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