But First, Coffee. Off to a Bad Start

You know that saying “but first, coffee?” Well this is where it originated.

But First, Coffee

My morning has left me a bit traumatized. Most if it is my own fault, I realize, but I’m disturbed nonetheless.

The reason? Subway.

I saw a sign saying “free coffee” so I went in, like a sucker. Then I saw a sign saying “breakfast,” so like the silly girl I am, I ordered a sausage and egg muffin. Except I might not have said muffin. I can’t remember, because I was so confused by the menu. It was on the other side of the restaurant, and, in my coffee-deprived state, I couldn’t really read the details.

But first, coffee

Well, I should have guessed things were going downhill when the sandwich artist asked me what sort of bread I wanted. I looked up, confused, but chose wheat.

By the time I needed to pay, the cost was exorbitant. I actually couldn’t pay for my meal. The price I saw was $2.49, but the price on the till was twice as much. I thought at first she had charged me $2.50 for my free coffee, which seemed extreme, so I asked if I had read the sign wrong.

“No. Your breakfast sandwich costs $5.”

“What? But I’m reading $2.49. I can’t afford $5. I don’t have $5. I have to leave.”

And, I turned to go. There was 100 per cent no way I was using my credit card for what began as free coffee.

“You told me what sort of bread you wanted. You said wheat. That’s the $5 breakfast sandwich.”

And that’s when I decided I wasn’t wrong, but I had been swindled. Looking at the menu more carefully (for I was now at the other side of the restaurant), I saw there were two sandwiches called “sausage and egg” with two very different prices beside them. I was not asked which one I was choosing, the cheap one or the ridiculously expensive one, and therefore, felt justly right in my refusal to use my credit card for a sandwich I didn’t even want.

The sandwich artist told me to take the sandwich because she’d just have to throw it away anyway. I don’t know if I was really right or not, but I emptied out my change purse and gave her all I had, which was about $2.73.

And don’t worry, I made sure to get my free coffee.

You know that saying "but first, coffee?" Well this is where it originated.

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