How to Become a Vampire (You Know You Want To)

Today I thought I would share a few of the many, many ways you yourself could possibly become a vampire. For it’s not just from being bitten, oh no.

How to Become a Vampire

In fact, I’ve put together a handy list for you to carry with you from all my extensive Internet research. If any of these things happen to you you’ll know you could quite possibly become a vampire.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Seven Ways You Could Become a Vampire

  1. If you’re a baby born with teeth
  2. There is a chance you could become a vampire if you’re a corpse and a bat flies over you or a cat jumps over you…but you might not become one if a cat jumps over you, the cat may just steal your soul and transform into vampire cat. I didn’t think animals could turn into vampires but, look at that. Apparently you know when a cat is a vampire because it has two tails (who writes this stuff?)
  3. Another way is if you’re a wizard or a witch (?)
  4. Two harsh ways you could reach vampire status is if you 1) renounce the Orthodox Church or 2) are excommunicated by the Orthodox Church
  5. If you’re the seventh son of the seventh son
  6. This one is important: if you aren’t buried properly
  7. If you have red hair…and you live in Greece

Actually that may have been eight ways. Anyway, there are so many more ways you could become a vampire but they just get crazier and crazier. I think we can stop here.

Oh, I learned something interesting about The Count from Sesame Street: Count von Count is based on actual vampire myth. If you’re looking to deter a vampire your best bet is to throw seeds (usually mustard) around. Vampires are compelled to count the seeds, so you should throw enough to delay them outdoors until the sun comes up.

What a handy tip! Tricky!

Update: I got that great story from a website called Random History in an article called 40 Interesting Facts about Vampires. I’m sorry to say the website is no longer with us. But weren’t those random facts interesting?

Other vampire posts

I know this is something you spend time thinking about. Want to know how to become a vampire? Here are seven ways. Enjoy!

One more thing. You may be interested in my free resource library. This is where I keep my files, downloads, ebooks, worksheets and whatever else I manage to create. I love sharing what I learn and want to keep adding to this library so it becomes a wealth of helpful goodness.

This is a free resource but I do require a password to access the library itself. You can get access by popping your email address into the form below.

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About Robyn Roste

My name is Robyn Roste and I'm a freelance writer in Abbotsford, BC. I help purpose-driven businesses translate their heart message into words so they can create meaningful connections with their customers.