The Only Five Things You Need to Know about Figure Skating

This guest post is a special addition to the blog—the only five things you need to know about figure skating.

The Only Five Things You Need to Know About Figure Skating

Hi, Robyn’s blog! There are five things you need to know about figure skating

My name is Mandy, and I work with Robyn. Robyn does the same job in Canada that I do in the US office, plus the jobs of about five other people in my department. Some may say that this is because Canada has a smaller office; I’m formulating a theory about how Canadians may or may not have super-powers, or at the very least, are way more efficient than Americans.

Well, kind of. You guys do add extra “u’s” to words like “color,” or “favor,” which is actually less efficient, if you think about it. (Eh?)

Wait, was there supposed to be a topic here?

Oh yeah! Figure skating!

Let me just say that first of all, I volunteered to be a guest blogger for a post during the figure skating month because I figured that neither Robyn or her readers knew anything about figure skating, but now I’m feeling a little blindsided by the fact that Robyn is actually a figure skating Olympic gold medalist (or close). I figured it was just a random topic. Although now that I think about it, anybody who can come up with 30 days worth of stupid animal battles must be an expert indeed.

Anyway, I fully planned to fib my way through this whole post, making things up right and left, because really, who would know? I could easily make up things that sound like they belong to the list of real figure skating terms…if a triple salchow doesn’t sound made-up, I don’t know what does.

But now I know—competitive figure skater Robyn is going to know what I made up. However, she will be on her honeymoon when this is published, so really, why would she care?

(Aside—is it true that you guys can ice skate outside in the winter? Also, Do you actually do it? I live in Texas, so we don’t get a lot of iced-over lakes. And by that, I mean, I’ve never seen one in my life, so they are magical and mystical. Leave some comments telling me tales of outdoor ice skating!)

So then, here is my fully accurate and not at all made up list of the top five things we can learn from figure skating.

The only five things you need to know about figure skating

1. Sometimes it’s worth breaking the rules to be awesome

Case in point: Surya Bonaly at the 1998 Olympics. Even though it was against the rules, she did a back flip and landed on one skate. And? Finished the program with her back to the judges. And those moves made them all sour-faced and grumpy. But you know what? I was only 12 years old when this happened, and I sure as heck remember it. Because it was super-cool.

Deliberately breaking the rules at the Olympics because she was better than everybody else? That takes some kahonas, right there.

2. Amy Poehler is always funny

Especially in figure skating movies with Will Arnett.

3. Good wins over evil in the end?

Ahh, the Nancy Kerrigan attack. Even though Tonya Harding denies having been involved with it to this day, the evidence and the convictions are what they are.

But in the end, good wins over evil, I guess, since Kerrigan ended up winning a bunch more times, then retiring from skating gracefully into the world of skating broadcasts and non-profits, while Harding got kicked out of the skating world, then wrecked some trucks, got arrested a bunch of times for alcohol and abuse-related crimes, was in a sex tape, got boo’ed in the Celebrity Boxing ring, and well, let’s face it, isn’t really looking too good these days.

Good, 1, Evil, well, also 1, since she did get that hit in before the US Championships in 1994. But at least it’s a tie.

4. If you’re pair skaters, you’re going to fall in love

All kinds of pair skaters have fallen in love after having skated together. I’m not even sure if that’s not how Robyn met her husband. Who’s to know? All I know is, it happens a lot.

Canadian Olympic Pair Skating Champions David Pelletier and Jamie SalĂ© started skating together in 1998 and began dating in 1999. They’re now married and have a 2-year old son.

If that’s not enough evidence for you, there’s always Janet and Louis Scholm, Melissa Gregory and Denis Petukhov, Rena Inoue and John Bladwin, Jack and Sheryl Courtney, Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov, Carol and Hayes Jenkins, Jill and Christopher Dean, Marie-France Dubreuil and Patrice Lauzon, and Dianne and Doug Chapman.

And, most importantly, that couple from The Cutting Edge.

5. Cutting your partner’s head off with an ice skate is a real danger

I learned this one from Blades of Glory and as we all know, everything in movies (and on the Internet) is true. Especially things in Will Ferrell/Amy Poehler/Jon Heder/Will Arnett/Jenna Fischer movies.

Hey, MacElroy, was that your routine or a performance of Cirque de So Lame?

(Man, I love that movie.)

But really, if this is true (and IT MOST DEFINITELY IS!), I would put it at the very top of the list of things I need to remember about figure skating. Because if there’s a chance I’m going to get my head cut off, I want to be well aware before engaging in that activity.

So, these are the five things you need to know about figure skating. Although if you’re me, all you really need to know is what direction everybody else is skating in the mall ice skating rink. And where the wall is, so you can run into it when you need to stop.

(My ice skates don’t come with brakes.)

Other figure skating posts

Guest blogger Mandy. Here is my fully accurate and not at all made up list of the only five things you need to know about figure skating.

One more thing. You may be interested in my free resource library. This is where I keep my files, downloads, ebooks, worksheets and whatever else I manage to create. I love sharing what I learn and want to keep adding to this library so it becomes a wealth of helpful goodness.

This is a free resource but I do require a password to access the library itself. You can get access by popping your email address into the form below.

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