How to Fight a Kangaroo | Things You Never Asked

Today we’re going to talk about how to fight a kangaroo. Because it’s a skill you may need some day. Just tuck it in the back of your mind till it comes up.

how to fight a kangaroo

I can’t remember who asked me to write about this anymore but here we go: How to Fight a Kangaroo.

There’s this really stupid show I really like called The Mighty Boosh. I like it so much, I’ve written about The Mighty Boosh before, which is something.

However, it’s really, really stupid. It’s British. I don’t know if that has any relevance except that I wouldn’t recommend watching it in front of children or if you don’t get British humour. Or jokes about sacking people.

In the pilot episode, the co-hero, jazz enthusiast Howard Moon, is volunteered by his boss to fight a kangaroo in a boxing match. Yikes.

Truth is, I didn’t really like this episode, but it’s one of those ones you never really forget. There are some bits of the episode online for those who are curious. There is some blood, and there is some fighting. And there is one tough kangaroo.

Well, in the end Howard Moon didn’t defeat the kangaroo, but the kangaroo was defeated. Problem is, it’s not really realistic…because that’s what we’re going for here.

So, how do you fight a kangaroo anyway?

OK so in real life, kangaroos hang out in what are known as “mobs,” and there are anywhere from two to 200 of the guys. Just hanging around. Loitering, if you will. Making trouble. Looking for fights.

They’re divided into boomers (male) and flyers (females) and really only fight over each other. Well, the boomers fight over the flyers.

Here are the details:

  • When kangaroos fight they appear to be boxing
  • When fighting, kangaroos stand up on their hind limbs and attempt to push their opponent off balance by jabbing him or locking forearms
  • If the fight escalates, kangaroos will use their tail to support their weight and begin kicking each other with their hind legs
  • If threatened, kangaroos will flee into waterways
  • Oh, and if pursued into waterways, a kangaroo may use its fore-paws to hold the predator underwater so as to drown him

Basically, if you’re boxing with a kangaroo, he’s not even mad yet. If the fight escalates, he will kick the crap out of you. Or drown you.

This is just my opinion, but I think it’s unwise to try to fight a kangaroo. I don’t even know why you’d bother.

What’s more ridiculous than fighting a kangaroo? Having a staring contest with a bunny.

Today we're going to talk about how to fight a kangaroo. Because it's a skill you may need some day. Just tuck it in the back of your mind till it comes up.

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